I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My feet surprised me
Randomize
