1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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