Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
