pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
