McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We left the knife in your bed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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