He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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