Having a random hookup so left but love u
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
