that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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