I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
