I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
