I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
