That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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