so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
