Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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