What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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