I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Please don't give away my fajitas
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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