Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize