I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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