He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize