You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
