Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
