McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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