I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
