my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
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