a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
