you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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