I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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