Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
