Pregnant stripper...not hot.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize