9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
