I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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