The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
