Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
