you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
