saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just blew my weed a kiss
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
