Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
