ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
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As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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