Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
