I am puke
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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