I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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