i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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