i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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