arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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