So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
