I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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