I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
