people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
