I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize