no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
