When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
