his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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