so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
