Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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