I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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