I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I looked at my own cervix.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
