I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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