If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
