Me. At least after what I've been through.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
